I remember running away in a crowd. Gasping for air. The hurt and pain I feel suffocates me. I can feel my lungs tighten and my chest hurts. I need air. I need space. I need to be rescued.
Suddenly I am on a beach. I see the waves splashing on the white sands. My breathing slows down. Slowly the sight calms me. I breathe in. Fresh air. Lots and lots of space. Slowly I look back and I saw him looking at me. As our eyes meet, the look brings back the ache I feel in my heart. His eyes, full of questions. He hesitates and he did not walk over. How I wish this is all real. At that moment, it seemed real.
It was only a dream. But it felt so good. I was smiling the whole day. I want to be rescued that way. Although it was a dream, but the hurt and pain felt so real. I want to be held that way. He held me from behind, I felt him close and I felt safe.
I do not know who he is but it felt good. It was just a dream, but just as the intensity feels so real so does the pain. The loneliness and hopelessness of the circumstances. It was never meant to be. I would never leave him. Even if it means I will be sacrifing my own happiness. I know it will never work. I will make do with what I have. In real life, love is just never enough.
