The truth finally dawns..

After coming to terms that you are gone for good...again, you come back. Saying Hi to me. Made my day and I played along as if nothing happened.

But it was too good to be true.

Today I saw your true colours. And again it broke me. I keep going around this circle over and over again. Am I some kind of masochist? Why I keep putting myself in line of fire. As if I enjoy the pain that I should have expected from the beginning.

I thought you came back because you still think of me. I thought you were fighting the urge to yet somehow, I held you back. I thought of all the fantasy stupid crappy romantic stuff. When in the end the truth was right before my eyes. I just failed to see it. Maybe I even refused to see it. But with your text today. Your refusal to open up and talk and your one track mind on your aim. I finally see where you are heading.

I cant do it. If I do it it is just to have the feel of you close to me again. To hear your heart beat against mine and to feel your breathe against mine. But I know, if I ever choose to cross that path again, this time the pain will kill me.

I will die when I look in your eyes and I see the emptiness.
I will die when I see how I have sacrificed my soul and stoop this low just for a person who has fail to see me as who I am.
I will die when I can feel that you just cant feel like how I'm feeling.
And most of all, I will die all over again when you walkout the door.

This is hard. But this time I really have to let go. This time it is done. I'm done.