I'm still away and not home. Its been a working break. Its been lonely, coming back to the 'flat' brings back a lot of memories I wish to forget. Its only painful when my songs comes on air and when I lay alone in the dark. It seems as if only yesterday you were around here with your arms around me.
A lot has happened. My lawyer friends is currently going through a tough time with her partner. To walk or not to walk. It is sad if she chooses the path to end something she built 2 yrs ago. But then when we talked, I cant seem to find a better solution. How do you make a relationship work if only one side has to compromise and sacrifice while the other just received and criticised. I'm not sure how long I would have survived it all if its me. Being from the East Coast and coming from a similar close knit family as she, I cant imagine having someone who do not appreciate my family as I do. Despite all the pains and all the flaws my family is all I have and when I am most happy with. At times when families get together, i cannot imagine being alone. Even during the times when your heart is broken, the gatherings sumhow makes you feel less lonely. He may have left you but there are still people around you who loves you unconditionally..( i think laa...:-)).
When talking about me, I've realised this is the path I have chosen. Current partner have put me through all this and I have sumhow put him thru his own hell. Rather than walk away, I want to salvage this relationship. I think there is a way to work it out. When he came over and told me, this time he appreciates it when I told him abt Mr Dublin and this time he will try and change. I thought at that time it was just lip service but so far he has been true to his words.
Telling him abt Mr Dublin was hard but it was good for my soul. I feel as if a burden has been lifted off me and it feels good. We now communicate better. I really did not expect him to take it so well when I told him I love Mr Dublin but he has. Through tears and anger I blurt it all out. We were having one of those wild and horrible arguments. I was feeling frustrated and so so angry. I thought that was it and that was final. I will now go back to my single life. Ive done it this time. Its time for me to pack my bags and go. So it was quite shocking and it touched me when he said all this made him realised how much he do not want to lose me. I did not expect it at all. He caught me off guard. Although he was shocked and from his expression I know it must have killed him that day to know that there has been more than one person.
Silence was in the air and we did not talk for the whole day. It was the evening after that he held me while I tried to sleep and told me quitely that he appreciates that I came clean. Its hard not only for him but he knows that it is also hard for me. This sumhow convinced me that its worth another try. This is worth a second try...maybe this time it will be better. The storm subsides for awhile. maybe its time for me to enjoy the waves..
A lot has happened. My lawyer friends is currently going through a tough time with her partner. To walk or not to walk. It is sad if she chooses the path to end something she built 2 yrs ago. But then when we talked, I cant seem to find a better solution. How do you make a relationship work if only one side has to compromise and sacrifice while the other just received and criticised. I'm not sure how long I would have survived it all if its me. Being from the East Coast and coming from a similar close knit family as she, I cant imagine having someone who do not appreciate my family as I do. Despite all the pains and all the flaws my family is all I have and when I am most happy with. At times when families get together, i cannot imagine being alone. Even during the times when your heart is broken, the gatherings sumhow makes you feel less lonely. He may have left you but there are still people around you who loves you unconditionally..( i think laa...:-)).
When talking about me, I've realised this is the path I have chosen. Current partner have put me through all this and I have sumhow put him thru his own hell. Rather than walk away, I want to salvage this relationship. I think there is a way to work it out. When he came over and told me, this time he appreciates it when I told him abt Mr Dublin and this time he will try and change. I thought at that time it was just lip service but so far he has been true to his words.
Telling him abt Mr Dublin was hard but it was good for my soul. I feel as if a burden has been lifted off me and it feels good. We now communicate better. I really did not expect him to take it so well when I told him I love Mr Dublin but he has. Through tears and anger I blurt it all out. We were having one of those wild and horrible arguments. I was feeling frustrated and so so angry. I thought that was it and that was final. I will now go back to my single life. Ive done it this time. Its time for me to pack my bags and go. So it was quite shocking and it touched me when he said all this made him realised how much he do not want to lose me. I did not expect it at all. He caught me off guard. Although he was shocked and from his expression I know it must have killed him that day to know that there has been more than one person.
Silence was in the air and we did not talk for the whole day. It was the evening after that he held me while I tried to sleep and told me quitely that he appreciates that I came clean. Its hard not only for him but he knows that it is also hard for me. This sumhow convinced me that its worth another try. This is worth a second try...maybe this time it will be better. The storm subsides for awhile. maybe its time for me to enjoy the waves..
