Yesterday was a fun filled family day. Today is a friends filled day. Yep, since I've been here, things have been pretty busy. Work as well as leisure. One good thing is that all these activities is occupying my mind. Thoughts of Mr Dublin does not come in as often as before. However, recently I went for a movie wth partner, sis and best fren. While waiting for partner to buy popcorn and drinks, there was this couple. At first I did not really noticed the girlfried but damn I definitely notice the guy. Needless to say, he's bald and tall, not beautiful but quite okay looking. Till today I do not really remember what was on my mind as I look at them. All I know was that it was quite intense to the point my companies were nudging me to stop STARING cuz the girlfriend have noticed it. I did not realised I was staring and made up some feeble excused that I was looking at something else. Well of course the girls rolled up their eyes and said they know better.
I drew some deep breath and decide to take a walk AWAY from my company and THE COUPLE. While staring at the screen outside the cinema and trying very hard to concerntrate what was showing, it occurs to me, what if..
What if its him, what if you bumped into your buried past with his present life?? Like Carrie bumped into that ex-guy with his wife and baby..she kept smiling and was in full control though she avoided the introduction with the wife, yet she survived it with dignity.
Can I pull that off as smoothly as Carrie did?
Or..would I end up staring at him, gaping or gawking (GOD FORBID) like a complete idiot that I am..??
Or much worse break down at the sight of his happiness..??
All I know now, is that the very thought is making me nauseated. Honestly I feel like stopping typing this and head to the loo to actually puke.
But today was a good day, these past few days have been a good day...I hardly think of him.. He's not that perfect anymore. Slowly its beginning to sink in, he's my mistake. He's my worst mistake and I should stop it. Stop having and thinking him in my thoughts.
Then I surf around and found his blog. She's actually my link. My Miss Love Letter. Though the situation is different yet similar in a messed up way, she somehow is another example of a fine woman gone wrong. Gone very wrong and very dumb when it comes to men. So hooray!! I'm not the only dumb fool blind and absolutely idiotic when it comes to the men we love. Yup, he's my Mr Dublin, the man I love to hate.
No, I do not want to hate him, I just want to go on with my life without having any feelings whatsoever towards him. My heart is still beating, but my feelings for him has froze. Much better melts into oblivion. Gone in the black hole, kick the bucket or whatever. I am just so tired..so so tired..... of loving him.
