The Colour of My Soul

You Are a Dreaming Soul

Your vivid emotions and imagination takes you away from this world So much so that you tend to live in your head most of the time You have great dreams and ambitions that could be the envy of all... But for you, following through with your dreams is a bit difficult You are charming, endearing, and people tend to love you. Forgiving and tolerant, you see the world through rose colored glasses. Underneath it all, you have a ton of passion that you hide from others. Always hopeful, you tend to expect positive outcomes in your life. Souls you are most compatible with: Newborn Soul, Prophet Soul, and Traveler Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

I like the idea that my soul is represented by a white horse. It's so beautiful..

Your love secrets Revealed..yeah right..

Your Love Life Secrets Are

Looking back on your life, you will have a few true loves. You've been deeply wounded in the past, and you're still recovering from that hurt. You expect a lot from your lover - you want the full package. You tend to be very picky. In fights, you are able to walk away and calm down. You are able to weather the storm. Break-ups can be painful for you, but you never show it. You hold your head high.

Your Love Life Secrets, Revealed

The lucky ones..

Yeah Chris was booted out and I actually cried!!! Nope, not just cried, I bawled my eyes out!! Hehe..what a wimp.. Soleil texted me, you were upset about Chris, is it Chris or another bald guy you are crying for ha..?? I felt lost when they eliminated Chris. Lost. Heart broken. Alone. My highlight of the week is now gone.

Hmm..sometimes I wonder, I like Chris cuz he’s really sexy, fabulous crooner, I’m nuts about rockers, or plainly cuz he’s bald..and bald men = Mr dublin.

Sheesh… here we go again. I’m in one of those moods again which is why my posting is quite frequent. When I badly need therapy, I write. I do not know why. Is it the stress of the wedding, or the impending wedding of Lynn’s guy. I believe that we are somehow ‘cosmically’ connected. If her creepy guy has a girlfriend, mine is seeing someone too. Now Mr Shorty is getting married in December!! I am getting restless, mine might be getting married too.

I have this feeling one of these days he is gonna call me up asking for a mailing address to mail his invitation. I’ve played the scene of me witnessing his ‘akad’ so many times in my mind. Me in the background as he solemnly swears his love to HER. Ugly ugly scene..painful..it never gets better although I have played it a thousand times over.

Lynn, my ingenious cousin whose timing cannot be better sent me this. I felt like someone slapped me on the face. I woke up. It hit home. It hit so close to home.

Difference between "somebody you Love" and "somebody you Like"
In front of the person you love, your heart beats faster
But in front of the person you like, you get happy.

In front of the person you love, winter seems like spring
But in front of the person you like, winter is just beautiful winter.

If you look into the eyes of the one you love, you blush
But if you look into the eyes of the one you like, you smile.

In front of the person you love, you can't say everything on your mind
But in front of the person you like, you can.

In front of the person you love, you tend to get shy
But in front of the person you like, you can show your own self.

You can't look straight into the eyes of the one you love
But you can always smile into the eyes of the one you like.

When the one you love is crying, you cry with them
But when the one you like is crying, you end up comforting.

The feeling of love starts from the eye But the feeling of like starts from the ear.
So if you stop liking a person you used to like, all you need to do is cover your ears. But if you try to close your eyes, love turns into a drop of tear and remains in your heart forever ...

How sick is that? How can you like some and be with that someone and not love that person. Especially if that person is absolutely crazy about you. Does that make you a bad person? If you ask me, that is what I call reality.

At least that is my reality. I truly believe that I cannot lead a happy life if I chose someone I truly love..because he doesn’t love me the same. Maybe because I have knack of choosing the absolute WRONG man to love. But then how can you choose? This is matters of the heart, it is not something you can pick and choose. Sometimes you love the person without even realizing it. Sometimes you just love the person although you know he does not deserve it at all. Sometimes the person doesn’t even give a damn.

So does it matter? It doesn’t actually. Because in my journey, finding someone who truly cares about you DESPITE your flaws and eccentricities is an achievement. Look into yourself. Are you that great a person? Are you as perfect as the guy you are looking for? Are you capable of overlooking his setbacks and settle for less? To find someone who truly loves you for who you are, loves you unconditionally. If you fall that way and he loves you back, then you are one of the lucky ones. But in my case, I’ll cherish my find, because in my heart I believe that one day I can learn to love the person back. I can learn to cherish him as much. Then I’ll be one of the lucky ones..

Today is just not my day..

Today is a horrible day. I cant believe my Chris is OUT of American Idol!!!! If only I can vote. It has been one heck of a day. The wedding preparation is taking its toll on me. My cough is getting worse and I'm having a migraine and I think my head is gonna burst and now my Chris!!! My Chris Daughtry is eliminated. My fave number by Chris is that Keith Urban song, Making Memories of Us and of course Renegade. I dont care what Simon says. Come to think of it i love all of Chris's performances. The guy is amazing. He's absolutely fabulous. His rendition of Making Memories of Us is even better than Keith's, heart wrenching and that crisp husky voice just drives me nuts!!!

My beautiful, adorable, sexy, babelicious Chris is gone. My heart is broken. I can never be more miserable than this..maybe when Mr Dublin gets married that will be a second horrible day. I don't even want to go there. I had enough of these nonsense. No more American Idol for me..no more..

Irish Craze

Is it just me or everything seems to revolve around Ireland these days. Has the world gone Irish crazy? The other day, it was ultra violet with the soundtrack by cranberries. I am not that sure but I could have sworn it was Dolores' haunting voice as Milla does her futuristic acrobatic martial arts in the background. Then, my fave photopage went to DUBLIN. Of all the places in the world..and he chose Dublin. There is even a photo spread of MALAYSIAN students in Dublin having the time of their life on the site. Not only I'm being pushed off the stairs I'm being stabbed and trod on!

Then another fave photopage had a newlyweds from Ireland!! Plus I have just realised that both of my fave groups are from Ireland. My absolute fave group The Corrs, Cranberries and thank god Adam Levine and Kanye is definitely not Irish!!

Maybe all of these stuff are actually normal. Maybe I'm being ultra sensitive these days. I have taken steps to move on. Yet I feel like he is still around making faces as I try my best to turn away from any traces of our memories together. How long am I going to keep writing on how hurt and in pain I am. I am sick of reading it myself. I am sick of being in pain. I want to be happy. Sometimes I feel deliriously happy. These days life is not that bad. But when it gets bad it gets really mad. No moderate day for me. When its good, its fabulous.

Crazy crazy life of mine..