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Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Addicted ..Its like I'm not me.

I have been having this twitch in my eye. It has been twitching the whole day. I went out nearly the whole day, when I finally could bring myself to check for my inbox.

Lo and behold, the reply that I have been waiting for. Five years. It has been 5 years. Why is he suddenly back. Why is he saying all the things again. Why is this happening again? Am I going to back the same path? I am really scared. The toughest fight of all is the fight you have within yourself.

It was really weird on the coincidence. I should not have replied. I thought he will never read it. I thought it will be something like the emails which Bella sent to an empty address. I thought it will stop whatever that I was feeling. I thought it would lose the edge. The edge. The addiction. Kelly Clarkson hits the bulls eye with these lyrics. Exactly what I'm feeling being put into words. She just didnt add that.... addiction always brings to destruction.

It's like you're a drug
It's like you're a demon I can't face down
It's like I'm stuck
It's like I'm running from you all the time
And I know I let you have all the power
It's like the only company I seek is misery all around
It's like you're a leech
Sucking the life from me
It's like I can't breathe
Without you inside of me
And I know I let you have all the power
And I realize I'm never gonna quit you over time

It's like I can't breathe
It's like I can't see anything
Nothing but you
I'm addicted to you
It's like I can't think
Without you interrupting me
In my thoughts
In my dreams
You've taken over me
It's like I'm not me
It's like I'm not me

It's like I'm lost
It's like I'm giving up slowly
It's like you're a ghost that's haunting me
Leave me alone
And I know these voices in my head
Are mine alone
And I know I'll never change my ways
If I don't give you up now

It's like I can't breathe
It's like I can't see anything
Nothing but you
I'm addicted to you
It's like I can't think
Without you interrupting me
In my thoughts
In my dreams
You've taken over me
It's like I'm not me
It's like I'm not me

I'm hooked on you
I need a fix
I can't take it
Just one more hit
I promise I can deal with it
I'll handle it, quit it
Just one more time
Then that's it
Just a little bit more to get me through this
I'm hooked on you
I need a fix
I can't take it
Just one more hit
I promise I can deal with it
I'll handle it, quit it
Just one more time
Then that's it
Just a little bit more to get me through this

It's like I can't breathe
It's like I can't see anything
Nothing but you
I'm addicted to you
It's like I can't think
Without you interrupting me
In my thoughts
In my dreams
You've taken over me
It's like I'm not me
It's like I'm not me

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