Today is a better day...

 

Today had a family gathering thing. So my attention was distracted a bit. And never was there a moment where I had to run and take a breather and just breathe. Today I feel much better. I even baked today. Chocolate bread pudding from Surfin the Menu.

My newly single friend aka Ms Eve said to me yesterday, is it something that you are not satisfied that made you go dig for him. I insisted that I didnt dig, yet, that it was all a coincidence. I dwloaded YM to chat to a girlfriend and found old postings by him. Messages that went unanswered  cuz I was busy going through my life. Was it a coincidence? Or was it my curiousity? I cannot really say.. It was a test. A small test.

And I broke like a twig.

Maybe it was the timing. Maybe it was the dumb stupid avatar. I still cant really say… So yesterday went to watch a movie “ I hate Valentines Day”. Ironically it echoes how  I feel about the heart throbbing avatar with heart shaped chocs in his hands. To add salt to the wound, the movie ended with the guy serenading the girl and making his friends formed the heart shape and asking the girl “Will you be my Valentine!” Sheesh… I could not have picked a worse movie. Anyway, had a great time. It would have been worse if I had not gone out. I would be moping around the house and telling everybody that I am still sick….

But today is a better day. Wish  Eve was here so that she can see that I am much better. It was just the cough and the hormones and all those feelings you get all cooped up in your room all alone. I am much better when I am surrounded by people. I am a people person. I think…

Yes, today I feel much better. I open the page and see your face and I realize how very beautiful you are to me, but I do not feel broken. Not today. Just happy to have had the chance , how briefly it was to have that “Beautiful Disaster” with you.