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Sunday, May 16, 2010

I cant, I would and I should but I just couldn't...

I want to say that it was meaningless. That it was just at the heat of the moment. That my heart was not involved. That it was just infatuation. That I was pressured at the moment. That I was messed up and the circumstances drove me to do it.

But I do remember the time when I watched you while you sleep. I remember running my fingers lightly over your lips and your chest. Thinking of how beautiful you were in my eyes. I remember opening my eyes and saying I love you quietly in my heart. Knowing at that moment I was falling hard. Knowing and being fully aware that it is not the crazies talking but its my heart.

How can I do all that without falling. How can I let you kiss and touch me without developing any feelings whatsoever. How can I look into your eyes again and not let my feelings show. How can I see you with her and not have my heart break into little pieces. How can I not be with you and withhold this feeling of being ripped apart. How can I be with you and not love you. How can I...??

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