Why do you have to come back?

I need you to know that u cant just come and messed me up and go again.

I have picked up all the pieces and glued myself together. I dont need this now and I cant take it now. You make me think of my past which was so painful and broken that I wish it never happened in the first place.

You came, you conquered and you left.

I was a mess and I cant breathe when u left. But I got well. I moved on or so I thought. Until you came back again. Now my days and nights are filled with my memories of us together. You hoped so much that I left him. But u left me to die. I thought you will never come back so I moved on...or so I thought. I cannot deal with this. I cannot deal with the confusion and guilt. I am torn between doing the right thing and to follow my heart. I wanna see you. I wanna breathe you again. I hate you for coming back. I hate you for making me melt again. I hate you for making me shiver whenever I see a tall bald guy pass by.

Tonight went out with girls and passed a group of men at the table. One of them was bald and wearing a striped shirt. I froze and thank god I was sitting in the car already. If not I think I would just crumble on the floor. I felt a searing pain goes through my heart. What if its you? What if its you with another?

I cant deal with all these. I dont know how I get over it all, but now that Im going down the same road again I cannot imagine how I can last this journey through.